My world shattered: It’s a uterine tumor
I’m posting the post and journey about my uterine tumor here starting on May 13th (yet this post was made an published on April 15th ’21), as I decided to make this place on the interwebs even more so a home for us all. I decided to not be limited by the word limit or algorithms on Instagram, but share all of my content on my blog as well.
What I posted on April 15th:
I am sharing this very last minute. When you’re reading this I’m having surgery to have the uterine tumor removed.
Since a year or so, I’ve been experiencing extreme pain while on my period but I always thought it was caused by stress (I moved, had a ton of external stress and then covid happened so I put it off and also.. many people told me it was “normal” to be in pain). After I told my symptoms, the gynecologist wanted to see me as soon as possible and saw something was off almost immediately. She did want to see me again in another time in my cycle to confirm it was in fact a tumor.
When she spoke those words, it didn’t hit me at all for the first second or so. But then it hit me like I just betrayed my own body. “I have a tumor?!”
We sat down and talked through the next steps. I literally thought I was going to walk out that door until my next checkup next year or so.
Then more devastating news followed: “you can’t have children right now”. I didn’t have plans to become a mother immediately, but my desire was there. I cried, asking her whether this was off the table entirely. She said there is at least no chance it would work now, and we can only try to improve, after the tumor was examined and probably more “next steps” after that..
For the last month, I had a hard time first believing it myself. A week or two later I told family and my friends/Patrons, they were so kind and loving, supporting me so much, that I felt a lot stronger to also put it out publicly.
I don’t see myself as someone who is open about her personal life much, especially not when it comes to such personal matters and vulnerable moments. I always learned how to keep them quiet until they are a thing of the past. I don’t think that helps anyone though. It might help someone cope with something similar too, it might spread some awareness, we could just talk or not talk at all and feel loved anyway. It’s all fine. But I felt like you needed to know. Because I rarely have a better, more real connection with anyone besides you, who I met online 💜
So this was the short version about the uterine tumor diagnose, I shared a longer version a while back on Patreon (I think?- or at least a bit more as it’s spread out a bit more probably), but I’ll sure keep you updated 💜
Thank you for your support, your love, your beautiful souls 💜 I love you 💜 I’ll see you when I come back and got this nasty thing out of me 💜
ps: I am going to post a few more blogposts so you’re on track with the tumor health journey here on my blog as well.