Hi my loves,
I choose this illustration because I’d rather feel home with a person than with a brick. I’m romantic like that, I guess. I also liked the Frankenstein/Joker kind of character I made in one of the previous prompts.
I loved this piece so much! I’m going to upload it in a bit already because it’s Saturday night and I’m going to enjoy it. Since working everyday is a normal thing to me, usually work in the weekends doesn’t mean that I HAVE to be done with it. I allow myself to work during the weekends and not give myself a deadline for it. With Inktober, there’s a daily pressure to get that piece done, however you feel or whatever you have planned. Today I worked on the next prompt as well, which is “Pets”. I already uploaded the sketch.
I felt sad today, because I saw that my last featured comic, which I enjoyed so much, had lots of negative response by people who don’t get the message. In their comments, they treated me like a robot that should be thankful that it can make comics for them. As if they should tell me what I have to make or not, that if I do something “wrong” in their eyes, that they will unfollow and that it will be my fault. I deleted most of those comments, probably even all of them, because I don’t want that on my Instagram page. Some of them were long, and it probably took that person a couple of minutes of their day to write that, but I put my heart and soul into that work, into every work, and people just tear my down. And I really can’t use it, I really can’t.
I don’t know what’s going on and what makes me so sad lately. I also sent out emails to local shops to present my postcards and I often received the same replies like I did back in high school. One of them said that they won’t sell them because it’s too much for my cards and another store wouldn’t want them either. If I compared the prices at other shops, the prices are the same or even lower for handmade cards. I cried but them dusted myself off. That’s when it get’s hard for me, because I didn’t allow myself to be sad.
After reading those comments today under the comic I was so proud of yesterday, it just broke me.
I hope my art still matters to some people. You guys have no idea how much of a change you made in my life. Being able to tell you all this is revealing my deepest, darkest thoughts to someone I know cares. And I care so much about you, you know that, right?
Home is here, where you are!