As you can see in the title, I’m back.
I made some lense-stories this morning being in the best mood I can be in. In this time of writing, I’m in the worst mood I can be in, crying my eyes out, not being able to allow myself some rest and experiencing panic attacks etc..
I got a call of another tax auditor last week, saying he will make sure to finish Planet Prudence and that he’ll get me down. I don’t know why he said that, but some of them are ruthless apparently. I immediately called my bookkeeper to ask if this was “normal”. He said that some of these people just can’t stand other people being independent workers making their own future. And if someone files a complaint, like this one person did with me months ago, I’m just having bad luck meeting people like that. I’m scared to lose it all, it’s my life. And drawing has always been my life, my reason of living without exaggerating.
I’m going through the worst time ever, even though the vacation gave me a sense of life again. I’m so grateful for the vacation my aunt gave me. I’ve had the best time ever. Even though I talked a lot about how scared I am to her, I just can’t get rid of this feeling. And being home again has just made it worse. I have a feeling that I won’t be able to deal with it anymore.
I will always draw, and I won’t give up, but life is rude to me at this moment. I cry a lot, and I’m just taking advantage of the good moments.
By the way: I still see a therapist. I need that.
I want to ask you to please be patient with me. I’m still drawing, at my own pace. I’m sending out your packages today, I’m working on my wallpaper and Q&A. I’m planning the livestream for this week.
I want to tell you I’m thinking of you, of how much I don’t want to let you down.
The visit of the tax auditor isn’t scheduled yet, but I will update you about it of course.
If anything, I never did anything wrong, but it can depend of how much he can get under my skin and what he writes in his statement.
I love you so much,