I Need Your Help
It’s Prudence! I hope you are all doing great.
I decided it’s time for me to tell my backstory.
It’s okay if you don’t want to know anything about it, I totally understand. Then I hope you enjoy the rest of my website. For all of you who want to know what I’ve been dealing with the last couple of months and why I made certain decisions, I’d love to explain it to you. I don’t do this because I received so much hate about it, I do this for you to understand why and because I want to be as open as possible with you.
It all began back in March. I was loving college, enjoying the second chance I got at life and at getting a degree. I never had a first chance because I was sexually harassed by a teacher in my last year of high school and got depressed afterwards. It was the cherry on top of a terrible youth. It isn’t necessary to go back 20 years, since I ended up having a new backlash in March.
I started to feel sick and a local doctor said that it was just a flu, so he sent me back to school every three days. I felt my body losing energy every second and I couldn’t barely go to school anymore. I crashed at noon and needed to go home and slept the entire afternoon. I went to see another doctor after the first one spent a month sending me back to school every three days up until the day I could barely walk and slept for days. This next doctor said I needed to see a specialist. I knew something was off.
I needed to see a specialist for CFS/ME. A sickness I was sure I didn’t have, because I’m not the kind of person who would be sick for the rest of my life, so I thought. I needed to run blood tests and many other tests, I needed to get scans and photos taken. I was sure something was going to come out of it other than that.
Apparenlty CFS/ME is a disease that is not visible in blood tests, neither are there any other physical appearances that can indicate that you have CFS/ME. I had to see psychiatrists in order to also eliminate depression or any other mental disease and to go over all the traumatic experiences I had to go through in the last 10 years. Because apparently, a flu, a pregnancy, a car crash, can all trigger CFS/ME. This happens a lot to people who had to experience traumas over the past 10 years. I’m still in and out of hospitals constantly until I get the permanent diagnose. They want to check whether or not there are other things involved such as PTSD, Fibromyalgia, etc.
I’ll have to go back to the hospital in a few weeks to discuss the next steps and there they will hopefully be able to help me further in order to get better.
I am not allowed to drive a car anymore, so I had to start and depend on others. I couldn’t deal with the tiniest bit of stress or effort or my body would start and feel sick again.
So yes, then all of the questions began. What am I going to do with my life? I asked my teachers to receive my classes at home. Some of them wanted to help me, others didn’t. It was their own choice whether they wanted to or not apparently. It was a rough communication and I actually had all the info properly a couple of weeks before my finals, even though I was always correct with doctor’s documents. This was a full semester of info and classes that I missed. There was no way I could catch up with all of it in just a couple of weeks.
They would split my exams and I had to only take half of it in July and the rest in August. They pressed it all in one week for the part I had to do in July.
I’m going to tell you, when I go out a couple of hours per day, I have to recover for days from nausea, flu-ish symptoms, fever, fatigue. It’s the worst. Can you imagine how that week must have felt like? I didn’t want to give up on anything, but I knew I would have to recover for weeks after that. I am a stubborn and ambitious person. I don’t want to give up on anything I really want in life.
After that period and a couple of failed exams (I have to admit I had to run out of two of them because I just felt extreme sick and nausea and I couldn’t bare it), I had to start studying for the rest.
I felt that my body had crashed and all of the symptoms got way worse. I couldn’t concentrate on anything anymore. I still can’t. My body is getting worse, my concentration is probably below zero. I can’t read a book anymore and I can’t watch a tv show. I can’t properly remember what people say to me, and I can’t listen to long conversations.
I do feel happy and I’m grateful for everything I have. I lose myself in art. I feel happy whenever I draw or make work for someone. I don’t feel like I have to concentrate on that because it just goes naturally. It’s the only thing in life that keeps me going. I absolutely love my webcomics and there’s nothing more in the world I want to do than just continue on making those webcomics.
Many people have messaged me that I help them so much to overcome their eating disorder, or they say that I make them smile at moments where they think it’s impossible to smile. Those messages make me happy, and I love to make other people feel happy (even if it’s for a second), doing something I love.
I don’t want to be the person who goes on sick leave at the age of 25 until it’s time to retire. I want to LIVE. I want to be young and draw and be happy and make other people happy.
I watched Amanda Palmer’s TED talk and Google talk. She wrote the book “The Art of Asking”. And at that point, I still didn’t know what to do. She kind of opened my eyes. I have a large following and I already have people supporting me. There are people who absolutely adore my work, which I’m very grateful for. And I realized that, if I want to keep on making these webcomics for free, I could just ask my audience to support me whatever they can or want, and give them something extra in return for their support.
At this stage, I decided to open up a Patreon. In this way, people can support me through PayPal for as little as $1 or whatever amount they want to pledge. This is per month, so this would mean that if I have a decent amount of money, I wouldn’t have to stress every month wondering if I’ll be able to buy food, or pay the bills, or be able to continue on drawing. I would also be able to have a close contact with my Patrons through livestreams and Q&A’s and I give them exclusive insights in projects and my webcomics. They also get wallpapers and exclusive wallpapers in exchange for their support. I would be able to continue on making my regular webcomics for free as well, which is the only thing I want in life. And for you, as a Patron, you get in return more of Planet Prudence.
You can see I have certain goals on my Patreon. It goes from $1000 up until $3000. This means that at $1000, I can pay my bills. I wouldn’t have anything extra to buy art supplies or anything. So I would still have to do other projects. At $3000 I would have full coverage for everything. So I can do webcomics fulltime! I would have no stress because I’d have a sustainable income. At this stage, I’m definitely going to make a complete new comic strip as well. It might still contain my Planet Prudence character but probably in a different environment and a different stage in life. My Patrons will be first in line to enjoy how it’s built up and see the rough sketches and the first releases. It will eventually also be for free, as I want to offer all my webcomics project for free. This is my main goal.
So guys, at last. This is me, asking you to please support me however you can, whatever you can. All of it will be for the sake of my webcomics, making other people laugh and of course it would contribute to me as a person. I would be able to work at my own pace, have a normal life (as far as possible), not stressing over what I should do with my life. I know exactly what I want to do in life. I know I can do this and this makes me happy and makes me feel alive. I want to motivate others to do exactly what they want and show them that kindness is real in this world portrayed as a world full of hatred. I want to reach out to you, and I hope I can find 3000 lovely people, willing to donate $1/month, or 1500 people willing to donate $2/month, and so on..
Whatever comes out of this, I know I’ll be happy that I tried. I would never have to worry that I didn’t. And even if I never get better, and I would still be able to make my comics and receive messages from people that I helped them overcoming fears and their own issues, I know I’d be happy. I would give everything and ask anyone to help me realize that.
If you’ve read all the way to here, I want to thank you for your attention and your love towards me. And I want to thank you for caring.
“I won’t make you pay for my comics , I ask for your help and support.”
All my love,
PS: I’ll make sure to update you about this whenever I can.