Prudence's Blog

Being self-employed, my plan was to get surgery and get straight back to work afterwards. I really didn’t…

I look down and I notice a bigger belly. I always imagined my body would look exactly like this when I got pregnant. I imagine it growing as the weeks go by.I feel bloated, there’s an unfamiliar pain in my stomach and I have no idea what is happening inside. I read about these similarities during pregnancy.

It's totally understandable why you believe that your body is imperfect, unworthy of love, flawed, that you show up being "brave" to show your body instead of just beautifully you. It's social media misleading us and its unrealistic expectations it has built up towards your body.

When I talk about my body being in pain, it’s a somewhat visible trauma. I’m in actual physical pain and people can see that. Many people aren’t considering the grief and sadness that comes with having surgery, or being diagnosed with something you weren’t expecting.

I was scared to bring bad news, because every time it happened before, people left me. I was good company for as long as I held my smiles up and I was of use to others, and even up until this day, I’m saying I’m fine to avoid someone else to feel uncomfortable.

Somehow I broke my baguette and I bought some pizza because I just knew I wouldn’t be cooking meals that evening and the radio was playing songs about dying. I was overthinking my entire existence, my meaning in life.

People always say “it’s normal” to experience extreme period pain. Only.. there is no scale to measure pain.

I thought I still had time. I always thought there was going to be plenty of time way past my 30’s to have kids. Never has it ever crossed my mind that there would be a time before I hit 30 where I’d hear that I wouldn’t be able to have a baby.